In my mind it’s easy, the relationship between us. In reality, its almost perfect. But no ear can hear without a listener and no eye can see without head. Whether it’s screwed on straight or not is the question. It takes two. In any relationship, sacrifice is not an option. You must do things that you would want in return from a friend, spouse or loved one. Subtlety can be deadly. Assurity is not it’s middle name. It can mislead an audience and stir up controversy. Anything but being straight forward. So its not confusing, you’re just being mislead. And I think it’s time to find yourself.
Entertainment…a matter of the mind. Enjoyment, boredom…all interpertations of what we make of it. Invigoration on the other hand…life!
In your opinion, I’m sure happiness is a priority. It is also mine. But what is pleasure without a smige of guilt? Now I don’t mean family time, amusment parks and healthy relationships, rather fleshy, impure and selfish happiness. The kind you keep a secret but reveal to your closest friends. The secret that you think about all day and consistly daydream about it. The dream that leaves you wanting to know more…captivating your mind.
That kind of happiness is rare. I think it comes a few times in a life time but short lived. This is where my problems arrive. The moment of inconsistentcy. Something I’m all too use to. Then again, what guilt is worth having? Even the most sincere intentions can contribute to the pleasure of embellishing in pain. At least that is what I consider guilt. You don’t feel it for a long time but it hurts when you do.
My pain however is the pleasure I’ve felt in a long time, so I’m not finished just yet. I’ll dabble a little more and my ultimate decision will come later. My levels are high and my mind amplified. Right now I will endulge in this course of uncertainty and I will enjoy every moment of it!